I’m looking for two cocktail sticks as I write this blog… no not for spearing cocktail sausages, but I wouldn’t say no to a plate of them either, in fact these cocktail sticks are for keeping my eyes open.
Honest to Christ, I do not remember being this tired in my first pregnancy… not until maybe the last couple of weeks anyway.
As I say goodbye to the second trimester, that saw me hold my breath for four weeks due to my Circumvallate Placenta scare and hello to the third trimester, I can see the next three months being a real test of my ability to stay awake and just walk upright.
Of course, there’s a few reasons why I think second time around I’m so much more exhausted and let's face it being pregnant for the second time is a whole different ballgame...
First; I’m a couple of years older this time around and as much as I used to be pretty fit, pre-first child, since I had the little dude I’ve had to shelve my beloved lifelong love affair with horse riding. For the last two and a half years I haven’t been getting as much regular exercise as I used to, so all in all I’m that bit more unfit, which really does have an impact on my body’s ability to cope with this endurance test called pregnancy.
Second, I’m bigger MUCH faster this time around… honestly take a look at the pics below comparing 27 weeks on my first pregnancy and 27 weeks on this one… I am HUGE-MONGOUS… not that I mind, in fact I’ve written before about how liberating I think the pregnancy belly is. It’s the only time in my life when I haven’t been on some kind of diet, or been self-conscious about my shape and size. It’s the most freeing thing I’ve ever experienced…
Left - 27 Weeks on pregnancy #1 / Right 27 Weeks on this pregnancy
But for all of the good aspects, getting bigger earlier on has had consequences for my body. My pelvis is achy all the time now, my old horse riding injury on my lower back has flared up and shoots pains up and down my body on a daily basis. I walk with a limp and today in particular I really feel as though my skin is stretching to breaking point on either side of my belly. My body has a lot of miles on its clock from 24 years old horse riding (and two seasons of rugby which saw me break my ankle and dislocate my shoulder!)
Finally and most obviously we have exhibit C… my toddler! As you know we’re slap bang in the ‘terrible twos’ and while we’ve thankfully come out of a period of unbelievable tantrums into calmer waters, we’ve also landed in energiser bunny territory. And I just cannot keep up with this kid. He’s like one of those nuts Jack Russell puppies you see bounding around in circles after its own tail. He runs ALL the time, roars at the top of his voice, because he’s a dinosaur you see! And if he’s not leaping off the couch or trying to climb the counters, he’s wielding objects around as if he was He-Man for the honour of grey skull. Don't get me wrong, I adore his infection, unbridled enthusiasm for life... but...
Simply put, I AM FUCKING EXHAUSTED.
Yes, yes I can hear the mamas of more than one child, smiling and thinking ‘she ain’t got a clue how tired she’s gona be in less than three short months…’ Yup I know when the baby gets here I’ll be back into the land of fog and zero sleep, but for now this moving mountain can only see the exhaustion that’s right in front of her…